lunedì 12 novembre 2007

Sculettare sì, ma con giudizio

Proseguiamo il resoconto delle ricerche universitarie più inutili del secolo. Dopo l’imprescindibile scoperta del potere lenitivo di Paris Hilton sul dolore dei topi, arriva un’altra eccezionale rivelazione, questa volta made in Canada: la camminata sensuale non è un segnale di fertilità femminile lanciato agli uomini per finalità riproduttive, anzi. Le donne, quando sono fertili, ancheggiano molto meno, proprio per non attirare l’interesse a procreare in altri uomini che non siano il partner. È invece quando non sono fertili che sculettano di più, evidentemente per uno scopo ben più giocoso che riproduttivo. L’università di Queen’s in Ontario ha quindi concluso che le donne non pensano solo a fare figli. Ringraziamo gli illustri ricercatori per aver raggiunto questa sorprendente conclusione. Senza di loro non ci saremmo mai arrivati. Ma pure se noi donne, per non essere attraenti nei periodi di fertilità, camminiamo come un buttero maremmano o, peggio ancora, come Maria De Filippi, potremmo comunque essere “tradite” dal fatto che durante l’ovulazione siamo più belle. La cosa è provata anche dal fatto che nei giorni fertili ragazze cubo e lap dancer ricevono più mance a fine serate. La scoperta è stata rivendicata con orgoglio da Geoffrey Miller dell'Università di Albuquerque in Messico che ha quindi consigliato alle "donne immagine" di esibirsi soprattutto nei giorni dell’ovulazione, per fare più soldi. Questa sì che è scienza applicata alla vita reale!

A proposito di camminata sexy, anche i capoccioni dell’Università di Cambridge hanno voluto dire la loro, calcolando quella perfetta, che sarebbe data da un rapporto tra circonferenza delle anche e circonferenza della vita pari a 0,7 (63cm. di vita per 91 di fianchi). Marilyn Monroe ci andava vicino col suo 0.69, ma la palma dell’ancheggiamento doc va a Jessica Anca, pardon, Alba.

140 commenti:

duhangst ha detto...

Soldi ben spesi per queste ricerche ;-)

Daniele Verzetti il Rockpoeta ha detto...

Ho letto questa notizia.... ovviamente i ricercatori erano tutti uomini.......

Patetici, non sanno più cosa inventare e come cercare di entrare nella nostra e vostra testa con ricerche assolutamente insulse.

Anonimo ha detto...

ma vogliamo parlare della ricerca Sesso: ecco i desideri erotici di uomini e donne (homepage di corriere.it) o Le donne a clessidra sono più intelligenti di quelle a mela (idem come sopra?)
(FulviaLeopardi)

Franca ha detto...

Ma questi "illustri" ricercatori sanno che nel frattempo c'è stata la rivoluzione sessuale, ci sono stati anni di femminismo (quello "buono") per cui la donna non è più solo una macchina da riproduzione?

b4dgi ha detto...

God save the "sculettata" - checchè se ne studi, ci sono ancheggiamenti che possono bendisporti al mondo quando li incontri.

Alberto ha detto...

Ma per caso hanno anche calcolato quanto possa far male alla psiche leggere i risultati di ricerche di questo tipo?

MariCri ha detto...

ecco svelato il perchè la sottoscritta cammina con la grazia di un piccolo rinoceronte (sopratttto se mi azzardo a mettere i tacchi!)...DONNA SPOSATA SONO!!!
MCri ;)

patty ha detto...

scusate, allora io che OGNI GIORNO DELL'ANNO mi muovo con la grazia di un elefante marino mi devo preoccupare????ARGH!!!

LauBel ha detto...

Veramente non ho parole... certo che se un giorno si dovesse scoprire che i "nostri" cervelli scappano dall'Italia per fare ricerche simili sarebbe un bel ... risparmio!

digito ergo sum ha detto...

Ribadisco: tagliate i fondi alla ricerca!!!! Tra un po' scopriranno che Dio è ateo. Magari in Russia...

InvernoMuto ha detto...

Dai, ditemi che siamo su Scherzi a parte... =)

cugina anziana ha detto...

non capisco proprio l' utilità di queste ...ricerche.
se questi luminari si dedicassero al giardinaggio o alla pesca spenderebbero il loro tempo in maniera più costruttiva anche perche' ancheggi o non ancheggi i maschietti...basta che respiri e ...

Miciastra ha detto...

Per favore, mi dici dove prendi certe info? Mi ci voglio abbonare.
Dopo questo post, cercherò di abbandonare la mia camminata da cowboy texano e mi concentrerò sullo sculettamento...
(Quando leggo queste cose, ho come la sensazione che qualcuno mi sfili via dal portafoglio altri soldi....)
M.

Prescia ha detto...

ahahahahahah...bellissmo sto post....grandi ricerche...ciao cara kiss kiss... ;)

Baol ha detto...

Grazie per queste succose notizie ma ho una domanda che vorrei farti:

ma te che cavolos tudi che leggi sempre di 'ste ricerche? :D

Baol ha detto...

linkata!

Simona ha detto...

@duhangst: eh sì, benissimo!

@daniele verzetti: il sesso forte, no? ;-)))

@fulvia leopardi: ecco, ci mancava quella sulle donne a clessidra...

@franca: speriamo che qualcuno glielo spieghi, prima che facciano uno studio sul rapporto tra le curve delle donne e la loro intelligenza..ops...l'hanno appena fatto!

@badgi: lo so, lo so, ma nessuno ce l'ha con l'ancheggiamento, solo con chi decide di studiarlo ;-)))

@alberto: e soprattutto sapere che per questi risultati si spendono soldi!!!

@maricri e patty: i rinoceronti e gli elefanti marini sono molto simpatici, alla faccia delle svettanti sculettanti su tacco a spillo ;-)))

@laubel: già, cervelli in fuga, perché inseguiti da noi:-)))(purtroppo, però, quelli bravi e seri restano qui a guadagnare due euro o sono costretti a scappare veramente)

@digito ergo sum: ahahaha, geniale commento!!

@invernomuto: magari fosse!

@cugina anziana: anche se non respirano più ;-)))

@miciastra: guarda, alcune notizione vengono pure dall'Ansa. Poi, per le fesserie, c'è sempre il sito del TgCOm

@prescia: sì, sì, grandissime ricerche. ciao!!

@baol: trovo queste notiziuole per lavoro: quelle più serie le uso per fare dei notiziari, le altre finiscono qui.

ammiragliok ha detto...

poi si dice che tagliano i fondi alle ricerche....

Antonio Candeliere ha detto...

quante ne devo sentire!!

Anonimo ha detto...

ciao, sei molto simpatica e lo è anche il tuo blog!
complimenti!
G.P.

S.B. ha detto...

Non ci sono più i ricercatori di una volta ...

Simona ha detto...

@G.P: grazie per i complimenti!

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Mo questo me lo segno ... potrebbe tornare utile...

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